Restless Heart, Steady Hands

On these kinds of days I feel it more than the others.

You're cooped up indoors, limited to what you are able to do in the way of physical activity. If you were already kind of living in this frustrated headspace to begin with, it is only further fueled by a lack of visual stimulation, a lack of a change of scenery, minimal human interaction. And if you weren't before, you're surely feeling the onset of it now.

The churning spirit within you is fairly insatiable, like an unquenchable thirst for something you haven't yet obtained.

And it's a dichotomy of sorts, because a large part of you just wants nothing more than to be tranquilized and at peace, and yet somehow, you also feel this uncontrollable compulsion, this need to want to explode with the potential energy you have built up within you. It's those times when you just aren't fully content with the way things are -- though not necessarily in a negative or depressing way. You are just ever-painfully and achingly aware of the youth yet still in you, whatever your age, and you see in your mind's eye so clearly the hope of the future to come. You want to go out and do, love, serve. You want to experience the world He has laid out before you - there is so much yet to see.

How else can it be described but a productive restlessness, a hunger? Or as my dad likes to call it, an inspirational dissatisfaction?

I think as a person of faith, God gives us these times intentionally, a cry and a call to come, to trust in Him deeper. To cultivate further this cavernous feeling, this liminal space right now, in order to one day soon know the difference between what is empty and what is full. To give us the opportunity, and some might even say privilege, to show Him that no, we don't know, and we place what we don't know in Your hands. To say, Lord, I am excited/burdened/determined/anxious. I give it to you.

 I think beneath the surface of this restlessness lies the latent fear that something or someone will prevent us from fully experiencing whatever it is we are pursuing.

But it is a needless fear when God has promised so much to us and cares for us so fully. When He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us, to give us abundant life and streams of living water in Jesus, our Savior.

Jesus said that he who comes to Him will never thirst.

If it is a holy desire, God has placed it inside of us for a reason. Just think about that. What you are feeling, what you are desiring, He has placed there personally. And we know that because of this remarkable thing, He is faithful and will see it through.

Is it a job? An expectation? A solution? A positive burden that you have on your heart to explore?

Whatever it is, it is something good, and you want, quite naturally, to experience that good thing and to explore the abundance it will offer you. This is normal.

But what seems like a righteous pursuit can quickly turn sour if we don't measure it carefully.

God has placed hope in our hearts as a precursor to what lies ahead of us. But what we DO with that beautiful gift and exciting hope remains on us. We have the option - to spin our wheels endlessly, without vision from God, without an idea. To finally be so fed up that we take matters into our own hands and solve our own problem in a rush of disobedience and self-will. That's certainly a choice. But something tells me that to do so won't end in the best way possible for us. I've experienced firsthand that it doesn't. Things will never work out for the best when we tell God that we know better than He does. It's strewn all throughout the Bible.

So what other choice do we have?

Well, the hard one. The prayer one. The still one. Asking God to handle our feelings, to manage them, to give them over to His care and kindness. To transform those feelings into positive momentum and a specific direction for our feet to channel those energies at just the right and appointed time. To use them for good and holy acts of service, not for our own gain, and certainly never for the harm of others.

To give us a spirit of patience and calm in the meantime. A courage to act upon whatever our orders may be when we do receive them, and a blessed assurance that whatever they are will be for our good and for the good of others -- and mainly and ultimately, for His glory.

Be at peace knowing that your times are in His steady hands, and that He is more than able to handle them. And not just handle them like an aloof and ruthless boss. But to lovingly deal with them, to reveal things to you when He knows you are ready for them. The hairs on your head are numbered - please don't forget your worth in His eyes. Now would be the wrong time to do so. Dwell in the knowledge of His favor and love toward you -- it is one of the great privileges you have as a child of God.

Just something from my heart to yours to think about today.

--

^"2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:2-4, emphasis mine)

^"11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

"⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

^"13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13)