A Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for all that You are. Thank You for Your steadfast love, for Your unfailing kindness. For Your mercies that are new every morning. 

Thank You for each moment of life that You give to us - for each breath of air we take in. For every morning we are privileged to awaken and delight in, that we might have another day to discover more of You. For every footstep we walk in Your safety. Not one thing should we take for granted, Lord, for it is only because of Your kindness and Your goodness alone that we receive our moments. May we realize this, and forever give thanks and praise to You.

Thank you, Jesus, that we are able to come boldly to the throne room of our Father God. That Your greatness doesn't overpower us so that we are far away from You - that our sin no longer keeps us worlds away from Your heart. Thank you, Father, that because of Your Son that You take our filthy rags and see only the perfection of Christ. Thank You that You forget our sins when we confess them to You - that they are considered no more in Your sight and are not held against us.

Thank You for your grace. Forgive us when we strive and do things to try to pay You for the favor that we already have in You. Forgive us for our foolishness, our waywardness, and our ignorance. Please release us from the things that grieve Your Holy Spirit - that keep us from being the sons and daughters that You want us to be - that you intended us to be from the beginning of time.

Thank You that you always have a plan for us. That you will never let us be snatched from Your strong hands. Thank You for caring for us far more than the sparrows and the lilies of the field. Thank You for not giving us stones instead of bread. Thank You Jesus for going to prepare a home for us, a place with many rooms - thank You for the relief that is ours as we embrace the truth of all of these things.

Forgive us our unconfessed sins, Father. Forgive us for all of the grievances to You that pass even beyond our own consciousness. For the times we spoke in pride, or elevated ourselves, either intentionally or unintentionally. May we learn the humility and servanthood of Christ. May You forever and always increase as we decrease. 

May we learn from Your loving rod of discipline, realizing fully that our trials are also our refining, which will lead us to our deeper joy.

May we not resent our place, but always find our contentment in You.

May we run fully from anything that keeps us from further Oneness with You.

Abba Father, I pray that we see You as the tender and loving Father that You are, and not the cruel and distant dictator that the world portrays You to be. May we renounce the lies of evil, never giving in to our senseless fears and anxieties, knowing that You, Jesus, are the Good Shepherd, who laid down His life for His sheep.

May we not second guess Your promises. May we not qualify them with our"what ifs" or "but maybes"- may we not try to alter them on our terms. Teach us how to stand. Equip us with the powerful recall of Your inspired Word that is stronger than any sword against the principalities of evil swirling around us.

Protect our families on earth, father. Biological or chosen or both. Provide them with health physically, spiritually, and mentally. Let us be at least as nurturing for them as they have been for us - but with Your help, let us be even more so. Let us always give more than we think we should, knowing it won't even come close to what You give to us. May we be selfless enough to not only know these things but to do them, and aware enough to know we need You to help us.

And dear Lord, please please bless those who do not have families, or have not yet found their own to come alongside them on this earth. Fill their lonely hearts with the knowledge and revelation of You as they find their true completion in You.

May all seeking and broken hearts rest in You, knowing You are where all searching can cease. May we have hearts that trust in You, knowing that You won't hurt us the way the world hurts us.

May we know our value in You, in your Son, Jesus. And may we feel that love - not as a pride point, to inflate ourselves as chosen ones, but simply as a foundational place to begin, and upon which we can build that foundation with all spiritual fruit and blessing in order to please You, our good Father.

May we know how to forgive, remembering always the vast and incredible way in which we were forgiven.

May we be still enough to hear Your voice and strong enough to seek Your direction before consulting anyone else.

May we seek always to find ways to bless You, never forgetting that it is very possible to bring You joy.

May we develop hearts for the ones that are harder for us to love. Somehow, some way, with Your help.

May we be a committed and intentional people, not taking lightly the hearts and minds and feelings of others as we interact with them in word or deed. 

May we learn to consider others more than ourselves. May we walk humbly with You all the days of our lives. May we be expectant for hope that is to come. May we be kind when we don't feel kind, and grateful when we wonder why. May we be encouragers to others when we don't feel strength for ourselves.

May we be at peace and filled with joy as we go about our activities in You.

May we rest deeply and soundly knowing our bodies and souls are protected by You.

May we ever-rejoice knowing You withhold no good thing from your children.

Lord, please keep us pure, keep us focused, and keep us well. 

And above all else -  may we endeavor to know more and more how to love like You love, Jesus.

For it is in Your Holy and Precious Name I pray and ask these things,

Amen.

Source

---  

"God is our refuge and strength,
    a very present help in trouble.
 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
    though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
 though its waters roar and foam,
    though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy habitation of the Most High.
 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
    God will help her when morning dawns." 
         
            (Psalm 46:1-5)

A Concept of Change

I am sitting here on another snowy Saturday with a full heart and an active mind.

Today was simple, like most of my Saturdays are. I did some laundry. I sat, I waited, I read. I called my dad. I really relished in the ability to just sit and study, sit and process, sit and think. Sometimes those moments are the only ones to make you realize how hyped up you are every other second of every day, each week. When we're in the midst of them, they're simply our normal.

And that stark contrast between my stillness and activity made me think about what my "normal" is right now, and what my normal has been for however many years. And I thought about all the people I've known and all the stories I've heard - of their normal, with things just happening and happening. The cyclical nature of it all appears endless. Like those long genealogical lists in the Bible. There are patterns and flows to life that we as human beings cling to. Structurally, within families; nationally, within our governments; culturally, with our holidays and social units; and personally, within ourselves. At some point, we decide to stick to patterns and reactions and behaviors and traditions until one day we steamroll into making that simply "our way".

It might not be a bad way. But in ourselves, it's an overly structured way. An autopilot-driven way. Maybe even an expected way, whatever that might mean to one. And most of the time, we often don't allow ourselves to sit still long enough to thoughtfully consider it. To wonder if we could or should be changing, adapting, growing. To even just wonder.

This is how we get stuck in sinful patterns, too. Being always grumbling, always selfish, always angry. They are taught to us or observed by us or felt by us and learned and practiced and rehearsed. Over and over, without examination. Or maybe even with examination, but without change.

It's not just how we get stuck in sin; it is how we get stuck period.

Or to flip it, maybe we do a positive thing for so long that the thing loses its eternal significance for us - though it may be a very good thing. An act of service, an annual fundraiser. A weekly visit. And for the Christian, maybe even the Gospel loses its saving power to us for a time. We develop a disconnect, a season of hardening, a time of hitting walls.

How aware are we of our very own lives?

Even simply down to the very reason why you take a shower at the time you do. Is it habit, or function, or both? Does it matter? Does it change? Could you change?

This is easier for some than others. I tend to cling to habit. There can be comfort in that.

But what if.

What if Peter and Andrew didn't leave their fishing nets to follow Jesus, or Matthew his tax collector's booth?

What if the rich young ruler gave up his possessions?

The book of Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time and a season for everything. Seasons are cyclical. Our worlds are cyclical. Though the Lord himself doesn't change like shifting shadows (James 1:17) and His word and truth remain constant (amen), God works through changes. He makes us new creations. He transforms us by renewing our minds. He ushers us from death to life.

Creations. Transformation. Renewal. New Life.

There are blessings that are what we would describe to be constants. Our families and friends, hopefully. Our health, I pray. But those are not guaranteed for all, though they may be constants for some, even most.

There are blessings in constants, yes, but there are blessings in changes, too. Often we aren't blessed until we change.

Change happens in obedience. Change happens when we trust. Change happens when we worship. Change happens when we pray.

Change happens when He changes us.

So as I sit here, thinking about change, I am trying to be open to letting go of the dark and rigid corners of my heart that I have so childishly kept to myself - clinging to these useless, empty parts of me that God wants to nourish for change.

The Israelites told Moses they'd rather be slaves to the Egyptians, eating their meat and bread to the full (interesting how they chose to remember things), than to be struggling in their freedom in the wilderness dependent exclusively on God's provision. (Exodus 16:3) How foolish they were. How foolish we are. How little perspective they had. How true of us, today. How true of me.

Our God supplies all our needs to us in Christ Jesus. We are unworthy, yet He cares for us. Time and again He proves His faithfulness, and time and again we grumble and cling to our comforts, fearing change. He redeemed the Israelites, and He redeems us still.

He gives us His word as a written document of His lovingkindness toward us.

He gave us His son to restore us and give us hope as His children under His heavenly care.

He sends us His spirit to live within us and inspire us to begin the changes He has for us. To whisper His still, small voice in our ears for action or inaction. To give us our quiet courage and incentive to be all that He wants us to be in Him as we answer His call to change.

There are certainly changes that are obvious, changes that are big.

But I believe a lot of God's changes are small. They are dizzying, wonderful, frightening, and massive to us in feeling, yet they never leave the bounds of our fleshly walls.

When we effort to begin to embark on these changes with Him, we have already begun changing.

And we might be so terribly uncomfortable with some of them. But that's okay. Because we know and can trust the One who is changing us.

He is able.
He is good.
He will work.
He loves you.
His ways are perfect.
His timing is perfect.
He is.

And because He is, and He calls us His, our butterflies aren't aimless. They are the power of Christ within us. Stirring us up, healing our hearts, and fashioning us into being more like His Son.

We are maturing, yes, we are shifting, yes -- but we are never alone.

It just simply must begin with a change.

Source

---

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness 

and rivers in the desert.

(Isaiah 43:19)

The Gifts You're Given

It's really hard to step up to bat.

There's that whole introvert/extrovert hot topic nowadays, which I feel in part relates to this idea - about how different kinds of people respond to different interactive situations and process their thoughts/what happens to them based on their personality types. While I'm not totally into these labels since I think we're all a mixture of both, I definitely understand it all. My brother and I are two polar opposite examples of this, for example. We're proof it exists to some degree.

(Hi Michael! If you're not reading this it's fine really it's okay I'm not bitter.)
(Hi Dad! He's definitely reading.)

But like I said, I think the conversation only goes so far. Life is always going to twist and turn in such a way where there will come a time and a place when we're all called to present ourselves - introvert or extrovert. There is always going to be an occasion in life where we need to "put ourselves out there"and be seen and heard. Many even.

A presentation at work or in class. A first impression. An interview, an audition. A business letter, an important email.

All of this requires stepping up to bat, so to speak. But what about when it's more of a choice to do so? What about the times when you personally are deciding to create something - maybe even art?

What happens when you feel that part of your purpose in this life is to reach others through making things - be it music or art or writing or anything else - but you have to battle the inner critic (or evil accusor) lurking about all the time daring you not to? What if you're kind of an extrovert-introvert?

I'm writing this because I often find myself either consciously or subconsciously grappling with this each time I write a blog post. It's something I struggle with, more with writing than performing believe it or not (but definitely performing also), and I just feel like it's more universal than we might think when we're alone in the quiet of our rooms hanging out with our insecurities. When we're staring at a blank page, looking in the mirror, practicing a piece, or crumpling our papers and throwing them in the trash.

The other day, a good friend of mine expressed to me how whenever they attempt to write something, they ultimately disregard it because they're afraid that no one would really be interested in what they had to say.

That statement broke my heart.

I think it broke my heart because this person is really fantastic. She excels so much in the handful of passions I know her to have, and I would so love to also be able to read and see what new and unexpected other things she put out into the world as well. And it made me think of the possible countless others who feel the same way she does every day, all over the world, and the gifts they too don't feel the most comfortable presenting to others. It also broke my heart because though I may ultimately suppress that feeling she described myself when I hit publish on these posts now, I spent many years ignoring God's nudges to write, or half-committing. I still face that problem all the time. And though none of us really like to talk about it, I know very well the ugly thing that lies beneath our problem of not sharing our gifts.

It's the unwelcome friend that won't go away.

Our battle within ourselves and against ourselves - our battle with the ever-elusive "other".

The "other" is whoever it is you're afraid of judging you. Because that's what this all is, isn't it? Fear of rejection. Fear of aloneness. Fear of failure. Fear of offending. Fear that whoever receives our gift won't deem it good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or pleasing enough. Fear that we will fall short of reaching the invisible standard of acceptance in all of its various and deceiving forms.

One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 1:7 :

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I love it because it reminds me (and quickly) of some crucial facts.

1. God and fear don't mix.
2. Which means if you are afraid, that is from the evil one.
3. But not to worry, because God allows us to replace it with BOOM power, love, and a sound mind.

That wasn't supposed to read as boom-power, by the way...but more like BOOM! POWER! Although I would like a bottle of boom-power anyway moving on.

One of the books I'm currently reading is a book by Cheryl Brodersen which I highly recommend called When A Woman Lets Go of Her Fears. In one of the chapters, Cheryl describes the difference between a healthy fear and irrational fear. I won't go into too much detail about that, because I feel like we all know this stuff already. I'm not talking the healthy fear here, nor do I believe Paul was when he wrote to Timothy in his epistle. Healthy fear God gives us to protect ourselves and is often in fact driven by power, love, and a sound mind as the reason for them in the first place. This other kind of fear is meant to throw you - to prevent you from doing the very thing God has called you to do. (Hence its evil root.)

The fear of other people is that kind of fear.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

(Psalm 118:6)

One of the most wonderful things about Scripture is that it sharply refocuses us in the way we should go. It helps me a lot when I need to humble myself and realize Who it is I'm living for in the first place, and why I'm doing the thing I'm doing at all. It all points back to Jesus.

And here's the thing about creating art.

Well, wait.

Let me clarify something here before going any further, because I would hear a lot of people talking about their art for four years in college, and let me tell you, though I respect it, it was enough for a lifetime of nausea because it got too abstract to even follow. So if this talk makes you glaze over, I understand that. You may be reading this as an architect or an accountant and think the closest thing to art that you create is when you get the perfect frosting to cake ratio (which, friends, is art, lest ye judge). I'm focusing on talking about artists in this post as my main examples, yes, but this also applies to anything YOU create or do masterfully for the Lord. It can be as daring as writing music or a novel and as seemingly miniscule as a craft project you make with your little girl. It can be the project you're handing in for your boss, or the way you rock that spreadsheet you made for your church. Or, sure let's go there, a status update. The potential for fear of rejection and failure lies in all aspects of creation. I create art and will reference what I know, but it truly is a sweeping term for anything at all you create - everything we do can and should be used as a means of worship simply by the way we approach it and use it to glorify the Lord and please Him. Hopefully that makes sense.

Back to what I was saying. The thing about creating art is that it is specific to you. Before the beginning of time God knew you and knew what He wanted to do with your life. What gifts and strengths He wanted to give you. And He gave them to you. Our lives are meant to be so many things for Him, but one of those things is delighting in and getting to experience and uncover all of the aspects of the gifts He gave us. We get to spend each day discovering something new - a greater depth, a different angle, a different way to reach someone. We have the blessings of growth and satisfaction and struggle and grappling with and figuring out the raw material He gives us until before our very eyes, beauty appears.

Your little girl smiles when all you saw were awkward hands twisting a pipe cleaner into an unidentifiable shape.

Your boss pulls you aside and notes your special attention to detail with a pat on the back.

Someone tells you your monologue wrecked them in the best possible way, or your song brought them to tears of healing and to their knees in praise.

All for His glory.

And see, those were examples when man responds to you. Those are the things we hope for - and the absence of those things, the sheer possibility of them not coming through to fruition, is where the fear begins. If you get such tangible feedback, praise God! What a great and joyful gift.

But a lot of the time we don't get that.

Which leads us back to making sure we ask ourselves Who it is we're working for, and why we're so afraid.

I've talked on this blog before about some of the ways in which I've struggled with myself and who I am. I'll be vulnerable again.

Recently I accidentally found myself looking at some pictures from high school. You know, the woops, hit the backwards arrow on Facebook instead of forwards and suddenly hello, I am now confronted with the oldest pictures available of me. Glorious. (And I also say accidentally because who voluntarily looks at pictures of themselves from high school? Unless those were your greatest times. Then you may carry on.)

But as I was clicking through them, I noticed something. I was really happy then, and I wasn't all that self conscious. And I was "creating" all of the time. I was constantly exploring new songs and aspects of my voice, I watched a ton of inspiring YouTube videos. I read a lot. I experimented with fashion even though I'm sure it did NOT work a lot of the time. I once wrote a song for my AP English teacher and actually RAPPED it with a hat twisted to the side for my entire class, the English class below mine, and the poor unsuspecting pupils in the school library who probably weren't asking for that.

I didn't have fear.

Or maybe a better way to word it is that my courage outweighed my fear.

Though maybe I'd do that rapping thing again.

But the point is, you're supposed to get better with all of this as you get older, right? Not necessarily. Or at least, maybe not in every way.

God has molded and shaped me into a person I am pretty proud of today, exclusively and only because of His grace and mercy towards me. And also His PATIENCE. And His giving my dad patience.

I went through experiences after high school of hardship and difficulty that really matured me and taught me so much about my life, my family, and most important of all, my relationship with God. My closeness with Christ increased tenfold, which is, of course, paramount. But some of my experiences also caused me to lose that really unfiltered part of myself that I once confidently put out into the world like it was no big deal. Things weren't perfect when I was in high school. A whole lot was going on, actually. For me, yes, but mostly for the ones I love the most. I guess the difference then was that I didn't allow my circumstances to negatively impact my person.

And I think some of the spark of that person got dimmed - or maybe altered - along the way.

As we get older, we start to learn what rejection looks like. We leave our comforts, whether real or built-up to soothe ourselves. We will feel unstable, and this will give way to fear. We start to fear what others will do to our hearts if we give them out. And people will bruise them. People will do bad things to us and to others, and we'll soak that all in as it informs who we are and who we become.

But we have to remember that we don't live our lives for people. We have to remember that people and their opinions and their status and their friends and their promise are nothing compared to the magnificent Almighty God who created all things and the promises that He gives. Those are what we can stand on. Those are what will never change. While we need to learn the lessons God brings to us in this life, and make sure we aren't naive and that we develop our appropriate healthy fears, we cannot for one moment lose the innate and beautiful spirit that God created in us before we breathed our first gasps of air on this earth.

Because no one else truly can create what you can create. No one else can give God the glory that you specifically can in the way that you specifically were meant to.

Please don't try to hide the person God made you to be. Imagine the woe that brings to Him who created you so intricately and gave you such gifts! I am not saying you should live as though you alone are God's gift to mankind, but to shrink away isn't the right choice either. You were made to humbly work unto Him using all that He gave you. It allows His splendor to truly and wonderfully shine greater than we could ever imagine and work in ways and lives deeper than we can even understand.

And hey, I'm selfishly asking you not to hide as well. Because I want to see your creations, too.

Let's bless His heart and bless the hearts of others with our respective gifts as we go forward triumphantly being the people that He created us to be. Can you imagine all of us doing this, together?

Aww yeah.

Source

^{14 "}You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that^[ they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

(Matthew 5:14-16)

---

And some more favorites of mine...

¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

^{14 "}For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)

Making Room

One of my favorite devotionals to read is My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers (link to the right of the page), because it is so easy to apply to my personal life and makes me feel really good about myself and #blessed.

Not. Nope. That is not true. Lying is a sin.

It is NOT easy, though blessed it does make me feel (and not the sarcastic hashtag kind). And the reason it is so marvelously wonderful is because it is so marvelously tough. It cuts right to the chase. It strips you of your pride often in the very first sentence, and holds the proverbial mirror up to your face while simultaneously humbling you and bringing you low before the feet of Christ. I'm not some weirdo who loves pain, it's just that when I read the words of Oswald Chambers, I literally feel as though I'm staring right into the heart of God. I am so overtaken by Him that I feel as Moses did when he requested to see the glory of the Lord and had to be shielded from His full presence. Chambers draws you that near. He helps you to carve out that quiet place for God to come in. And let me tell you, it is a scary, beautiful place to be - really one of the most vulnerable parts of my day. It is for the Christian who is serious, or the serious hopeful Christian, because it is all about serious growth. It will probably do more for you first thing in the morning than a shot of espresso.

(...Did I do that right? The rare times I get coffee I just get it black and put gross amounts of Splenda in it, I'm sorry.)

So this morning, well, the same thing happened. The Lord spoke to me through the words of Oswald Chambers and straight to my circumstances, too.

And then another unexpected turn occurred when I found myself unable to go to church. So I then listened to an unplanned sermon, which led to an unplanned message also hitting me square in the face, which also miraculously spoke to my heart, and I can now see all along that..

God was trying to get me alone.

It's funny how that happens. We drown him out so much. All the time, actually. We can be sitting by ourselves and still make ourselves internally too busy for God, which is sort of a mind-numbing and shame-inducing thought - and something I can be incredibly guilty of. But we can even just be going about our lives, thinking we're going to church. It doesn't matter. We get too nervous, too anxious, too preoccupied, too social. We determine to do something in our own minds instead of obeying what He would have us do. There are a lot of things that can pull us away, both direct and indirect, and even spiritual, and an enemy who knows specifically what one, two, or five of your "things" would be to keep you from encountering the glory of God.

And your "things" are not someone else's things. Your friends and family cannot fully know what you need spiritually in that moment or on that day and what you specifically need to do before God. To ask them won't help all that much. That is between you and Him. And to grow in spiritual maturity is to know what that looks like for yourself. To commit to it fiercely and wholeheartedly as though you were fighting for your very air. To make it your aim to know what that looks like for you so that you can create a whole lifetime of divine appointments of undivided encounters with the holy God.

Your heart can be in the right place, but your spiritual life requires discipline, too. You have to carve out the time for God because He, in short, is everything. (I don't WANT to say "duh" here, but I also just did.) He is why you're breathing, He is why you do the things you do and go the places you go and meet the people you meet. He has led you to the point you are in right now, He has juggled and commanded and intervened and sovereignly held all events of history, and yes, He holds and knows your future. No one else can help you the way God can help you. No one can instruct you, love you, discipline you, or complete you the way God will. And that is why making our time with Him a non-negotiable is imperative.

And He wants to talk to you. He is not that friend in town that keeps telling you they want to see you and never follows through.

We are the flakes here.

You've heard it time and again, but that's why you HAVE to read your Bible. You HAVE to pray. You HAVE to worship Him in thought and deed - because that is where and how you meet with Him. You have to prepare yourself before His throne, you HAVE to do your part.

²⁰ Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

I don't think my generation specifically takes faith seriously enough. We are passionate about the cause without the follow-through. We are trending in our hearts as well as our social media. For the amount of heartache and self-destruction that exists among us, there is an equally flippant attitude, rampant disrespect and carelessness directed towards personal faith. There is so much time that is lost every minute of every day to the things that don't matter and don't please the One who created us. I look on at people that I dearly love and so badly want them to also love the One who is dear. To have this fervent passion and hunger after the God who saves and is knocking at the door of their hearts. To receive the free offer of peace.

But you have to bring yourself to a stillness in submission before Him in order to receive it. And getting to that still place is the hardest thing - Christian or not.

Even those who are walking with Christ - every little bad habit you are caught up in now will inevitably affect the larger things in life and your eternity. Song of Solomon 2:15 says that it is the "little foxes that spoil the vineyards". Everything matters. When you snapped at that person or dishonestly answered that question - it changes you. Something triggers off inside of you that tells you it is okay to do that thing. Left unrepented, that attitude is cultivated and eventually all those little things lead to and contribute to our attitudes toward the big moral things (not to mention those we hurt in the process in matters both big and small). But these offenses, though wrong in and of themselves, are what contribute to keeping you from reaching that quiet place before God that you and I so desperately need. When we entertain things that aren't of God or in accordance with His nature or will for our lives, even seemingly neutral things that take up too much of our time, we drown out all that is good and holy and wonderful and healthy for us.

I'm not saying this to scare anyone who might read this, but I am saying that we are not strong enough by ourselves to walk about as though we don't need God in each moment of the day. I think we trick ourselves and are tricked into believing that His assistance is optional. The apostle Paul prayed without ceasing. He didn't get it twisted. He knew that the solution to our frenzy is to humble ourselves in prayer and constantly refocus ourselves on Jesus, the source and center of all things and the holder of our hearts.

For something so difficult to get our stubborn and prideful flesh to do, the reality is fairly simple.

We don't leave room for Him to showcase His glory in our personal lives.

He is with you in your room, on the street, on the stairs. And He wants to help you in this life to do what you need to do, in order to be your "utmost for His highest".

Truly welcome the times He orchestrates your circumstances in order to get you alone to show you something. Stop exhausting yourself - stop fighting what He has to say and grieving the Holy Spirit. He knows that whatever He is going to show you is going to be of infinite importance to you, and it is our job to make room for Him.

What if we didn't ignore that check in our spirit, that whisper in our core, that urging that something shouldn't be done, that impulse to go to His word? Can you imagine what could be?

Could you imagine what mass amounts of healing could look like?

It starts with you. With all of us - being obedient, equipping ourselves, gearing ourselves up. Together.

I challenge you as well as myself today to not walk around as though you are going it all alone - but instead to turn each corner and type and text and think and breathe through your life as though the One who loves your heart is right alongside you and within you. Make it a daily practice to take the time for Him, yes - but also listen to Him when He says and plans the unexpected. He is much too awesome (literally awe-inducing), and your life much too precious to disregard.

³⁵ Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

 (Matthew 24:35)

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"As servants of God, we must learn to make room for Him— to give God “elbow room.” We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, but we forget to make room for God to come in as He chooses. Would we be surprised if God came into our meeting or into our preaching in a way we had never expected Him to come? Do not look for God to come in a particular way, but do look for Him. The way to make room for Him is to expect Him to come, but not in a certain way. No matter how well we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that He may break in at any minute. We tend to overlook this element of surprise, yet God never works in any other way. Suddenly—God meets our life “…when it pleased God….”

Keep your life so constantly in touch with God that His surprising power can break through at any point. Live in a constant state of expectancy, and leave room for God to come in as He decides."

- Oswald Chambers, January 25th devotion, My Utmost For His Highest

Obedience

I just sat for a second and thought about the word obedience.

What popped into my mind was, you know, nothing other than a small town's tiny, wooden one-room schoolhouse with a little girl sitting at her desk - ankles crossed and hair neatly curled, tugging at her uncomfortable white collared shirt buttoned all the way up to the top and minding her manners.

Just some simple Wednesday daydreaming in vivid detail. It was all very Mayberry in my head.

It's interesting to consider why that is where my unguided and un-manipulated thoughts veered towards. If I were to consciously have another go, I'd probably think more in terms of what that word obedience intellectually signifies to most (normal) people.

Respect for authority.
Submission.
Maybe even silence or chores if you were a bad little kid. A warning to behave.

Pretty surface level stuff for the most part.  And pretty scary, actually. Unpleasant, kind of off-putting.

Just like many children wouldn't appreciate being told to be obedient if it means not doing the thing they'd rather be doing, as adults we have the same reaction. Just in older bodies.

Go to your Facebook, right now.

Do you not have one? You're proving my point.

Facebook is filled with revolutionaries you went to school with in the third grade and protestors disguised as the people you type next to at work. This isn't necessarily a bad thing if you aren't doing it hatefully or to tear others down. We speak up out of a need or a desire to lament the current state of things, to celebrate victories we deem righteous, to share our hearts. If you don't have a Facebook, you're also taking a different kind of stand - against Facebook, against our culture. Maybe a stand for yourself.

When we do these things, in a way we are proving our disobedience to whatever higher authority it is that we disagree with. We speak because we feel others need to know, need to be informed, need to change. And sometimes this is totally righteous and good and healthy. In a sense, we are being disobedient, yes - in maybe a cool way. And perhaps we feel we are also being obedient to our cause or our calling.

So that's a slightly different perspective of obedience. Obedience as nobility.

In Christianity, this of course exists as well. The apostle Paul was obedient to his calling, after having a personal encounter with the risen Jesus Christ and turning from his ways as a Christian persecutor and Pharisee toward an entire life given in devotion to spreading the gospel and message of hope. His obedience was radical.

But it was also sacrificial.

Here is where some of our friends may bow out, take a few steps back, go get a soda.

I'd be willing to argue that I don't think anyone naturally desires to sacrifice any aspect of themselves. When a thing gets too lofty, too seemingly impossible, or even too damaging in one way or another to ourselves and our current modus operandi and maybe even our relationships, we have a tendency to quit while the going gets tough, so to speak.

And we start to react and move full circle back towards the aforementioned stifled schoolgirl image - suddenly obedience begins to look too uncomfortable, and much less noble. It becomes sort of taboo, evoking thoughts of everything that isn't progressive or good to a society that places probably too much value on being free to the point of recklessness. You become less about obedience to your cause, and more about obedience to your own desires.

Jesus was really clear about sacrifice and obedience.

²⁴ Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)

 Oof.

But only sort of. Because did you catch that last part?

"...but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

So maybe obedience isn't a dragging our feet thing after all.

Obedience is a trust thing.

But it all is dependent on who you're putting your trust in. That is where the difference lies. Because here Jesus is saying to us that if we give him our literal everything (which is truly a myth as He gives us all things anyway), then in exchange He will give us true life.

Now, this is hard. Because in order to do this, we have to not only trust Jesus, but we have to understand that we might not totally understand what it is He is giving us right away.

Until we get to know Christ, we will be as some of the people of that time were - i.e., a group of people who truly have no idea what He is talking about. Even His own disciples struggled with this. We, like them, might pull away from our one true hope of salvation and the very One who is truth itself as we more or less say right along with them, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" (see John 6:60)

But Jesus goes on, and we need to listen too, as he rebukes (sorry, Christianese) them:

 ⁶¹ But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? ⁶² Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? ⁶³ It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. ⁶⁴ But there are some of you who do not believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) ⁶⁵ And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” (John 6:61-65)

We often think based on that oft-repeated phrase that "seeing is believing". But with Christ, it is truly the other way around. In fact, it is one of many examples in Christianity that are fairly counter-intuitive and seemingly upside-down from the way the rest of the world thinks.

Believe first, and then you will see. Take the step, and then you will understand. Give Him your life and your hopes and your dreams and desires for yourself, and trust that He is kind and faithful and powerful enough to have your best interests in mind and to carry those out for you and with you as you walk with Him.

BUT.

It is HIS plans we need to be seeking. Not our own.

There is nothing wrong with having talents and dreams we yearn to see realized. I have them. Chances are you do too. God gives us gifts and desires for that reason, and often what we are given, including our desires, are indicators of how He will in fact use us. Pray for those things. All the time. He wants us to feel happy and fulfilled. But that is not the end. Our happiness, unlike what this world and the self-help section of Barnes and Noble will tell you, is not the ultimate, end-all-be-all or the "I have finally arrived" goal.

So, this is a really easy thing to talk about in a blog post, and not an easy thing to carry out in our lives, just for the record.

Following Christ is all about the constant transference of ourself over to Christ. Giving Him our lives, our habits, our cushy behaviors and safeguards (and potentially our panic attacks into brown paper bags in the process) as we trust Him to catch us like a big ol' trust exercise. But not only catch us - allow us to soar.

Now I sound like Reading Rainbow or something (I sure am on fire with these TV references), but it's no matter. It's the truth. We have two options. We can trust and obey the Lord and see what extraordinary things He does, or strive and fear and exhaust ourselves as we stick to what we think is safe but is really leading to our own unraveling.

So what it boils down to is this:

Do we trust in God enough to know He has us?
Do we love Him enough to obey Him even when we don't understand  (or heck, lets be honest, even if we disagree)?
Are we willing to sacrifice our creature comforts and pour ourselves out on His behalf and in His name simply because it pleases Him when we do so?
Can we do this joyfully out of the overflow of our hearts- and not complain, even if what He's asking of us is difficult, or requiring our patience?

And the real killer:

If necessary, could we give up x y and z and still be "okay" because we have Jesus?

That was a lot of words for an "it boils down to this", but these are all questions we should use to check in and honestly ask ourselves, grapple with, and pray through regularly.

Obedience is not the disgruntled little girl minding her manners. That's carrying out marching orders. That's a chore. That's some real "I want an oompa loompa now!" pouty behavior. (I don't even know anymore.)

Obedience is answering the call of Christ. It can be noble, sure. It can be difficult, absolutely. But it can and should and MUST be carried out with joy. Why? Because that is how others will see the glory of God, and receive hope. Because you know that the Creator of the Universe knows you and loves you and has engraved you on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16). That the Savior of the world calls you His friend and goes to prepare a place for you. He loves you - and because He loves you, He will walk with you and He will quiet you with His peace, and equip you to do all that He has called you to do.

Let's go out and obey our good Lord as He himself obeyed the will of His Father by dying for us on our behalf. His obedience brought us our freedom. With that freedom, let's obey His word and obey His voice. It is the least we could do.

And this is not just to enhance our own lives, though we surely will reap the blessings of making Christ our all and walking in obedience to Him. But when we deny ourselves, we think less about our selves, and less of ourselves. Not only does this allow the Lord to be magnified, but it allows us to be more others-centered too.

Which we need need need in this hurting world, so desperately.

This is all hard to do, but not impossible. Not with God. The Holy Spirit helps us, guides us into truth, gives us wisdom, and gives us power. The power of God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit will altogether come alongside us and help us, so we needn't worry about what personal challenges following Christ may cause us.

²⁰ Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, ²¹ equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21, emphasis mine)

Jesus said that wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction. That narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. (see Matthew 7:13-14) In fact, He promised us tribulation in this world. When the anxieties and worries flare up inside of you and you begin to count the cost of following this Jesus after all...

First of all, read the Psalms. David freaked out a lot too. 

BUT ALSO keep in mind Jesus' words in John 16:33:

³³ I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

 He will supply all of your needs.

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"Tensions and anxieties flame within me the moment I forget I am living my life for the one-man audience of Christ and slip into living my life to assert myself into a competitive world."
-Philip Yancey

"Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him." 

-Dr. Charles Stanley