Symphony of Beauty

In my poem from my last post I wrote that I need to feel the God who restores.

Jehovah Rapha. The Lord our healer.

He heals what is broken.

He takes the shredded cords of our hearts, mending them together, filling the holes with His presence that we fill with senseless chatter, empty voids, empty promises.

He looks on, stoops down, rights us from our backs like the sheep that have been cast down and overturned.

He takes our tears and deep hurts and frustrations and replaces them with His peace.

He sees us.

Who else really sees us?

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I have been surprised by my own joy and peace more than usual lately. Have you ever delighted in that feeling?

If asked to pinpoint a few reasons why, I could certainly point to a few.

But I think the main explanation as to why I have been surprised and bewildered by my joy is because it occurred to me that what I am experiencing is not at all due to what the world defines as having the markers of "success".

Really quite the opposite.

It's not that I ever thought those things would fulfill or satisfy me. That hasn't ever really been the type of person I was or was raised to be. But I think that for some of my life so far, I latently believed the lie that until I was doing a certain thing or achieving a certain goal or reaching a certain point, I wouldn't be happy. Truthfully speaking, I believe this is because my family and I have experienced so many various struggles and hardship for so long, it was hard to imagine anything else at times. And while I knew that I had the joy and peace of the Lord inside of me, and many times had moments where I did feel and experience that, deep down I just never thought I could fully understand that lasting joy without some sort of other blessing to help. The whole thing sort of eluded me. And if I am honest with myself, I think that in my heart of hearts, somewhere below surface level I must have believed that reaching a certain place of being "comfortable" and whatever that meant to me would at least provide the framework in which I would find those things that my heart was seeking.

I was missing the whole point.

And like I said, it's not that I wasn't a Christian when I believed this lie. I very very much was. And isn't that often ironically the case? We're always believing some sort of lie of evil from time to time. Sometimes for an entire season or length of time. I was being blocked from fully realizing and taking part in the most joyful and wonderful aspects of my own faith.

It sounds so simple, and even silly and shallow when I look at these words staring back at me. After all, isn't that one of the distinguishing truths of Christianity? To know that you are being blessed with every spiritual blessing? To understand and embrace that your joy is lasting in the Lord, even when your happy feelings are nowhere to be found? To grasp that feelings are not reliable any more than believing that the shifting winds will carry you where you need to go?

But may I be so unfair as to say that you sometimes don't experience it until you...experience it? That you don't "get it" until God says it's time?

I know, that's of no use to you, is it.

But maybe it can be. Because the thing is, I know and can proclaim boldly that what has given me my joy and peace has been nothing but the Lord Himself. And that is something we all can take part in.

He has placed me in a position at this very point in my life where I am spending so much time with Him that I am probably for the first time really and truly learning how to abide in Him and rest in His care. I am re-delighting in Him in new and wonderful ways. The words of the Bible absolutely come alive to me with new meaning as I spend time reading His words and speaking with Him and singing to Him.

I am seeing and experiencing what true satisfaction feels like in Him as I watch Him unfold my circumstances around me in ways I never could have pieced together. Being of one spirit with Him as He urges me to be still and calm and wait on Him in what seems like the hundreds of areas in my life where I just haven't the faintest idea or answer what is next for me. Listening as He encourages me in the way of my gifts and my relationships with others. Experiencing Him answering my prayers right before my very eyes --seeing those I love growing deeper in Him and being blessed by him more each day, and encouraging me and teaching me all the same.

Who wouldn't be surprised and brought to their knees in sheer praise and thanks when an absolute symphony of beauty surrounds and nearly blindsides you all at once? 

Who could ever be afraid when the Lord of all smiles so radiantly at you and opens your eyes to truly see?

Who could possibly ever despair when the very source of Hope whispers softly to your heart that there is so much that awaits you?

Does it all sound sort of crazy? It is! To the rest of the world. But each morning I spring out of bed because I know that there not only is a God, but there is a God who sees.

He sees me.  He understands me. He forgives me and gently teaches me. And He fills my life with inexplicable beauty.

He sees.

And the beautiful thing is...

He sees you, too.

(Source)

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¹³ Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?” (Genesis 16:13)