It’s easy to not care about offending people when you don’t put faces to them.
When you can’t imagine their reactions to your canceling plans with them, when you can’t observe their countenance as they don’t get a response from you and keep checking their phones to make sure you didn’t say something further. We don’t allow our minds to take the full course of how our actions impact the lives of others. How one ill word could lead to an offense or wound that might lead to a series of choices made or behaviors acted on in the lives of other people that could lead to some pretty detrimental things, unfortunate outcomes that may contribute to a bitter worldview for that person.
Conversely, if we don’t recognize our impact negatively, it remains possible that we don’t understand how important it can be to be kind. Smiling at a baby creates impressions in their newly developing brain. I'd imagine that the more positive reinforcement they receive, the better the lasting imprint on them. The better off the human being they grow into.
“God bless you.” If someone sneezes, and you are a stranger next to them on the subway, you made the other person feel important enough to acknowledge. It’s not being sentimental to think so, even if that person doesn’t think anything of your polite words. These things are noticed subconsciously, they are retained.
Texting is bonkers. I, for one, am an expressive type. My texts are generally descriptive, occasionally long. Most people are not like this. Most people say “thanks” and mean it sincerely, whereas I am from the species that receives that response and thinks the person is mad at me and swiftly gets upset for twenty five days.
But just like I wish I was receiving something more personal from that person, they don’t deserve a judgment made by me on their character based on a simple text message. Not everyone has to write in the same way I write, and I can’t get mad at others for not having the same human impulses as me, either. That’s what makes us all different.
And unless you are marrying that person or in a committed friendship or relationship where it might lead to major extended periods of hurt, it isn’t that big of a deal. Even if you are marrying that person or doing life together - after you talk about the problem, chances are a compromise might be made or something, but that doesn’t mean you’ll just get your way and start receiving too many adjectives and exclamation points in the future. You’ll get their best efforts.
And then if you’re not satisfied after that, you’ll still have to get over it.
So what I am saying or not saying well enough is, the only one with the last word and standard of perfect is God. Love others well, use your perception and insight and consideration that is in your ability, but after that, get over it. Chances are it just isn’t that personal.
And if it is, they’ll let you know in some other way, trust me.
But also, when in doubt, be overly kind. This is what I try to do. Because if someone reacts poorly to that, it’s kind of weird, because that is not something the world needs less of. I’m not saying be insincere. That is not truly kind. But if you have a kind word, share it. If you see someone suffering, offer of yourself, even if it’s “God bless you.” Little things are big things. It’s nothing new, and somewhere we all know this, but it is seldom practiced.
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"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)
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